THE SUPER AWESOME DISCLAIMER ADVENTURES!
by Enpowerswan
Summary: OVER 900 HITS! The title pretty much explains itself. VERYY Approprate for almost any age, but T, just in case. Don't wanna ruin your innocence [taken from Two halfs and a Quarter]
1. Chapter 1

HELLOOOOOO PEOPLES!!! AND PERSONS!!!! For those of you who have read my in-progress story, Two halfs and a Quarter, I have decided to do a hilarious rendition of my SUPER AWESOME DISCLAIMER ADVENTURES!!!!!! So here they are!!!! TADAAAA!!!!!

* * *

DISCLAIMER: me- Twilight…Newmoon… we cannot be together anymore.

Them- WHAT?!!

Me- I lied to you…

Them- GASP!!!

Me- I'm not your real author…

Them- DOUBLE GASP!!

They cry and run out of my reach, right into the hands of Stephenie Meyer.

Stephenie Meyer- laughs evilly and walks away.

Me (yelling after them) - Twilight, Newmoon, FORGIVE ME!!!!!

* * *

A/n: Yeah, I was having (another) random moment there and Stephenie Meyer is not evil! Without her, we wouldn't even have these wonderful books and my awesome story.

-ANOTHER GASP!!!-

Oh and by the way, the first couple of chapters will be VEEEERRRRRRRYYY short. TTYL!!!


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPPIE TWOOOOOOO!!! READ AND ENJOY!!!!!

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or Newmoon.

Reviewers- You know that you just did a normal disclaimer, right?

Me- Yes. I am actually not hyper right now.

All- GASP!!!

Random reviewer- It's the end of the world!!!

Yes, for once I am mellow and not hyper, so I won't go crazy right now. Or not…

* * *

A/n short short short short short short short I KNOW!!!!!!! I'll do better next time!!! 


	3. Chapter 3

WHOOHOOO!!!!! READ AND OBEY!!!! And if you are getting board, just go ahead and read Two halfs and a Quarter ALREADY!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER (continuing from chapter 5) Part II: me: -moping around on the barren streets, thinking of Twilight and Newmoon-

Random reviewer #2: Are you okay?

Me:- shakes head solemnly as a tear runs down cheek-

RR#2: that's too bad -skips away merrily and slowly transforms into Stephenie Meyer holding Twilight and Newmoon-

Me: YOU!!

Stephenie Meyer: Mwahahaha!!! -dashes out of reach as Twilight and Newmoon start screaming again-

Twilight& Newmoon: RACHEL!!!!!!!!

Me talking like the terminator: I'll be back!!

And end scene!! Hmm… I'll work on it. Now, during the disclaimer, will be my weird adventures of trying to get Twilight and Newmoon rights and later it will have a surprising twist to it. It acts as a bonus for all of my good reviewers!! Yea for them!!! -Applause-

This will sound weird because I am copying them straight from my first story so try not to get confused!!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

HAVE FUN!!!!!!!

* * *

Disclaimer Adventure part III: me: -sitting at Wal-mart in food appliances section sketching map/plan and laughing crazily-

Random Reviewer #3: Seriously, are you okay?

Me: -points at reviewer and starts twitching- Stephenie Meyer! We meet again…

RR#3: O-kay?

Me: HA!! You admitted it!

RR#3: Did you forget to take your happy pills or something? –steps away slowly-

Me: -ignores question- You may have found my super secret hiding place, but you'll never take me alive!!! –pulls out gun-

RR#3: -runs away screaming-

Me: -pulls trigger and blows bubbles- Ha! Gets 'em every time!

I LIKE THIS ONE!!!!-singsong voice- Very fun! I've been thinking about this all day. I love bubble guns!!!!!(THAT'S GUN, NOT GUM)

* * *

TADAHHH!!!!!!!! REVIEW NOW!!!!!!!!!!! 


	5. Chapter 5

TEHEE!! READ!!!!

DISCLIAMER ADVENTURE Part IV: Giudogdpoidh;wiodhiii!!!!

Random Reviewer #4: WHAAA?????

Me; -sighs- I said, Giudogdpoidh;wiodhiii!!!!

RR#4; WHAAAA???????

Me: Are you mental or something?

RR#4; WHAAAAA???????

Me: Halloos? Anybody in there?

RR#4 snaps out of it and glances at me. Sits there staring at me for a moment, then starts screeching: COOOKIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RR#4 skips down singing a song: a-b-c-d-e-f-g, h-i-j-k-lmnop-q-r-s-t-freezes for a moment and then starts the cheese song (A/n: MY FAVORITE!!):

SPRINKLE, SPRINKLE LITTLE BAR

WHAT I WONDER IS A CAT? -Ptthhhhhh- (Just to let you know, I don't own this either! And it is to the tune of twinkle twinkle.)

Me: -looks at you- And you thought I was mental, -skips along singing cheese song into the sunset with a lion, tinman and a scarecrow.

Alternate Ending to DA part IV: 

RR#4 snaps out of it and glances at me: Hey, don't you own Twilight and Newmoon?

Me: -Hugs RR#4, does happydance, then slaps and runs away crying and screaming that I wished I did.

YEA!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!


	6. Chapter 6

DUHN DUHN DUHN!!!! READ!!!!

* * *

DISCLAIMER ADVENTURES!!!! Part WHOCARES: Me: -walks in room crying and bawling like mad-

Stephenie Meyer: -walks in with a confused expression-

Me: -whispers in ear while sobbing-

Stephenie Meyer: -breaks down crying and yowling like a cat-

Rachel Black: -walks in and glances at them with weird expression-

Stephenie Meyer: -whispers in Rachel's ear-

Rachel: -sobs and sits on floor, whimpering-

Slowly and eventually, Me, Rachel, Stephenie Meyer, Jacob, Esme, Bella, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, Victoria, Kana, Alice, Sam, Paul, Embry, Jared, Quinn, and Jasper are all sobbing on the floor… and flooding the room with our tears… ew.

Carlisle:-walks home from work and comes through the door, only to be smothered in the ocean that was their tears- WHAT"S GOING ON??!!!! –Wrings out tie and takes off previously dry jacket-

All: WE DON'T HAVE A DIACLAIMER ADVENTURE!!!!!!

Carlisle: -gasps and faints in shock-

* * *

YES!!! I still love this one!!!! 


	7. Chapter 7

I LOVE this one because it is soooooo loooonnnngggggg!!! Enjoy!!!!

* * *

Me&Kana: do do do dodo

Edward: Manamana

Me&Kana: On spring break

Edward: Manamana

Me&Kana: do do do dodo do dodo do dodo do dodo do

Stephenie Meyer: Perfect! That will be great for the school play… Uh I mean… musical.

Emmett, loud and obnoxiously: Hey Rose.

Rosalie, also loud and obnoxious: Yes, Emmett?

Emmett: So when you get a diploma, people ask a lot of questions… and you end up becoming something.

Rosalie: Go on…

Emmett: So if you get a degree in Biology, you ask 'What makes it work?' If you get one in science, you ask 'How does it work?'

Rosalie: What about music? –yelling at the top of her lungs-

Emmett: -grins mischievously- But if you get one in Arts, you ask 'Do you want fries with that?'

They both crack up and fall on the floor, laughing their heads off…

Suddenly, a REALLY thick book whacks Rosalie in the head.

Rosalie: OOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emmett: Rose are you o- He is silenced as a blue stiletto heeled boot whacks Emmett in the head

Emmett: OOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They both screech in pain and crumple on the floor. After they stop screaming (and the rest of the world takes out the earplugs in their already damaged earlobes) they glance upward to see a fuming Kana and Rachel.

Emmett: WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!!!!!!!!

Rachel & Kana simultaneously: YOU INSULTED MUSIC!!!!!!!

Edward runs in with a frantic Alice and Esme.

Eddie (a/n. I LOVE that name… tehee –guilty thoughts-): What happened?

Kana & Rachel: -turn toward them- THEY INSULTED MUSIC!!!!!

Eddie: -gasps and grabs the TV-

Emmett: NOOO!!!! NOT TELLIE!!!!!

Edward: -chucks it at Emmett and Rosalie and it shatters into a million pieces-

Rosalie: -winces in pain and then glares at Emmett- Tellie?!!

Emmett: It was all I could come up with… oh… the memories… -groans and sniffles in pain, apparently both emotional and physical-

Jasper: Oh yeah!! That was when we went to that one store in Japan…

Emmett looks frantically at Jasper and then turns slowly toward Rosalie, wincing. Rosalie glares at him and turns red.

Rosalie: WHAT?! You mean that the time you went to Japan for my wedding dress, you spent it on a TV!!!!!!! You SAID that my dress got lost in the LUGGAGE!!

"What? A TV?!!!" said luggage.

Everyone glances at luggage, VERY confused.

Luggage: What? I knew that Rose's dresses were HEAVY and BIG, but I didn't think that it would fit in that little box.

Rose: -growls at Luggage and pounces towards it-

Luggage: -screams and dashes out door with Rosalie close on its tail-

Rosalie, screeching in the distance: I'm not through with you yet Emmett!!!!

Everyone glances at each other to find that Rachel and Kana are still fuming.

Emmett, whimpering like a baby: I didn't mean it… I meant Art and Drama, too…

Alice and Esme's heads whip up and they begin to growl at him: WHAT?

Emmett brags, thinking they will save his butt, but not noticing their expressions: Oh YEAH!! Art and Drama are a LOT worse than Music in general.

All of the sudden, knives, light bulbs, couches, magazines, desks, makeup, and pretty much anything you can think of start to fly at Emmett's head.

Emmett (or what's left of him after the massacre of miscellaneous items): -groans- What I MEANT to say was that MUSIC was FAR worse!

He pokes his head out from under the pile of rubble only to be drowned again by more junk.

Emmett: JASPER!! HELP!! –moaning-

Jasper, smirks: Nope!! This one's ALL you!!

Emmett's wails fade into the distance as two ultimate massacres take place.

* * *

TADAAA!!! REVIEW!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!! 


	8. NotonMEDS!

A/N:I AM NOT ON ANY MEDICATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

Rachel: -singsong voice- Oh, EDDIE!!!!!!

Eddie: -groans- What is it NOW Rachel?

Rachel: -skips across the hall to where Eddie is while still singing- Guess what I found?

Eddie: -whimpers and desperately tries to back away slowly without Rachel noticing but is unsuccessful, then begins speaking very slowly as she is about to explode- Whaaaaaat?

Rachel: THIS!!! –Holds up a pink poster unmercifully ripped from the school bulletin board and appears to just have gone through World War II-

Eddie: -snatches it from Rachel's grasp and tears it even more in the process-

Rachel: MY BABY!!!!!

Eddie:-stuffs piece off paper into baggy gangsta pants, making it rip even more- PUHlease, GUHrlfriend!!! You ain't got NUTHIN On this piece of #&!!!!!!

Esme: -who happens to be all the way back at the house miles from the school where they are located- EDWARDANTHONYMASENCULLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1IFYOUDON"TGETYOURBUTTOVERHEREINTHENEXTFIVESECONDSIWILLPERSONALLYTEARAPARTEVERYLASTPOSSESIONYOUOWNANDGUESSWHATWILLBEFIRST?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rachel: -sees paper still crumpling and trying to win a war in Eddies pockets and she looks up slowly, walking towards Eddie with a sickeningly evil glint in her eye as she snarls and her wings sprout out of her back again as the blood red nails begin to grow and a whole bunch of other stuff happens that you readers don't know about but lets just say...RUNNNNN!!!!!!! speaking of which...-

Eddie: GOTTAGO!!!!!!! –puff of smoke replaces where he was standing a split second ago as Rachel growls and suddenly charges off into the forest-

-Our infamous hero Sir MOUNTAINEDDIELIONKINS reaches the house to find an Evilll looking Esme standing on the porch with a VEEEERRRRY evil glint in her eye-

(She's been hangin out with Rachel again hasn't she... -exhausted sigh-)

* * *

THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok I noticed that a lot of the minor characters haven't been getting a lot of attention since..well…EVER. So they will appear in the next chappie! Yea! And now a word from Jessica…..whatever her last name is…

Jessica: Holla to all my PEEPS! Okay I just wanted to sa-

Okay that's all th time we have for today so keep it real and see yall next time on Disney 365!!!!

Jessica: Bu-

GOODNIGHT AND NO I AM NOT ON ANY MEDICATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Although I did try some pixie dust with Alice once after shopping for five days straight…..

This is Nick superstar Miranda Cosgrow signing out!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-gasp- EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-gasp- EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
